By the Time You Love Me

I loved you long before you knew, More deeply every day. I gave you more than I should have, And hoped that you would stay.

When others made a small mistake, You stood there by their side. But when the hurt was coming from you, You asked me just to hide.

I said "it's fine" a thousand times, Though every word was wrong. I kept forgiving what you did, Just so you'd stay along.

I watched you smile for others, With kindness in your eyes. The same kind smile I begged to see, But never once got mine.

I thought that if I loved enough, One day you'd love me too. That every tear I cried for us Would lead me back to you.

I thought the day you chose my heart Would heal the years before. That every scar you'd left behind Would hurt my soul no more.

But love can't change what already broke, Or give those years back too. It cannot hold the younger me Who only wanted you.

And now you're here, just like I dreamed, Your hand is holding mine. But every touch reminds me of The days you crossed the line.

You say the words I longed to hear, You love me like before. But every "I love you" now wakes The pain I carried more.

The hardest part was never waiting, Or praying you'd be mine. The hardest part is getting you, When I've run out of time.

Because I gave so much of me Just trying not to leave. That by the time you loved me back, There wasn't much of me.

So if you see me smile at you, Yet tears stay in my eyes, It's not because I don't love you, The hurt arrived before the love.